My "Sweet Caroline"

Caroline arrived at 4:59 PM on Monday, June 8th. What a precious little girl she is. I can't believe she's 6 weeks old already! I have been busy and haven't had much time to blog, but thought I'd post some pictures. Thanks for all the kind comments asking where I've been. I hope to spend more time blogging again in the future.

I decided to jump in and give cloth diapering a try this time around. My friends (and especially hubby) thought I was nuts. Well, it's been 2 weeks and I'm not at all interested in turning back. I'm saving sooooo much money and my little Caroline's bottom is not being exposed to chlorine 24/7. I do one load of diapers every 3rd day and my cloth dipes leak far less than disposables. It really is so easy! Here's Caroline in her One Size Fuzzi Bunz - sorry about the poor quality cell phone pic.


And just a few more pics of the girls enjoying a day at Mrs. Erin's pool =)

I'm still here...

It has been a long, long time! Lots has been happening in my life these past few months. The biggest has been preparing for baby Caroline, who is due in just 2 days! I have had some episodes of labor that nearly had me calling the hospital, but would fade after just a few hours. Just trying to be patient while waiting. Patience is a virtue!

An update to my past prayer requests:
Dave is more than half-way through chemo and is doing wonderfully. We have seen God's hand of healing and provision the entire time. The doctor's have been very pleased with the results of his treatment so far. Please continue to pray for complete healing!

Erin had an uncomplicated C-section and her beautiful, sweet little girl is now 2 months old!

We've also prayed and watched in wonder as God has preserved and protected my dear friend, Mary Lou and her new little boy, Ben. Mary Lou delivered Ben by emergency C-section at only 28 weeks gestation due to HELLP sydrome. Praise God Mary Lou is doing great and healing nicely. Ben has grown from 2 lbs, 1 oz to 2 lbs, 14 oz and is also doing very well.

But, the real reason I have dusted off my blog is because God has been laying some things on my heart that are just too lengthy to share in a Facebook status ;-). For months, actually over a year, we as a church have been seeking God for revival. We have been praying, really praying, for an outpouring of His Spirit in our church and our families, that would spill out all over our towns and counties, our state and our nation. We have spent many hours in all-night prayer meetings and have wept many tears at the altar in repentance and in prayer for the lost. And we are beginning to see God really move in our midst!

But the past few weeks, while at church, I have felt a little discouraged. Not because I don't think that God is answering. I know that He is! Discouraged as I watch people on their knees, crying out to God while I'm playing referee between my 2 children. Discouraged as I'm holding my 4 year old to keep her still and reminding my oldest that it is time to pray. I sometimes feel like I'm just not effective, or even wonder why I am there if only spend the entire worship service caring for my children. And even worried over how I'm going to keep my 2 oldest in order all by myself once Caroline arrives (hubby is worship leader and is busy playing drums). But God whispered some reminders to me this past week. They were precious words to my heart and I thought they were too good not to share. I know that there are many mothers out there who can echo my feelings.

God gently reminded me that there will eventually come a time when I don't have children fussing next to me, but on their knees, praying with me. The time I spend with them now, teaching them to pray, to worship with all thankfulness, to seek God's face, and many times just to be reverent and respectful while others are praying is priceless. These children that He has blessed me with are our future congregation; our future worship leaders, and Sunday School teachers, and elders and pastors (actually elder's wives and pastor's wives...since I have all girls). They are the ones who will very soon be on their knees, crying out to God for revival and for the souls of the lost. My time each Sunday is not at all wasted, but so desperately needed at this time where real disciples of Christ are becoming fewer and fewer; where persecution of Christians is becoming a reality even in America, and where their lives as followers of Christ will most certainly require so much more strength and courage and grace that will only come from a real and living relationship with their Savior. He has placed me here at this phase in my life "for such a time as this."

And He also reminded me that my focused prayer time is still powerful and effective, regardless of whether it is with the congregation during Sunday morning service or alone in the early morning hours while the rest of the house is asleep. There are other times that I can spend in prayer, seeking God's face. At 2 AM when I can't sleep due to heartburn or contractions now, or later when I'm up for middle of the night feedings. I can worship Him as I'm folding laundry or washing dishes. I can praise him together with the girls as we sing in the car or dance in the living room. We can pray together for lost loved ones while we're in the car, driving to see them. What a blessing God has given me in these precious little ones; and what an enormous responsibility He has entrusted me with.

We mothers must never make light of the importance of our role on Sunday mornings!

I have more blogs brewing in my mind. Hopefully, soon, I'll have time to sit down and share them too.

Christmas pictures

I was desperate to have some good pictures of my girls to frame this year. I got them together at home and had a photo shoot. Not a one really turned out. The camera I was using was on the fritz and every picture came out with lines through it. Out of probably 50 shots, these were the only decent ones I got:

Sooo, off we went that same night to find a "real" photographer with a "real" camera. Here is what we got. I think they turned out beautiful!

And my absolute favorite...

Happy New Year from our family to yours!

In Sweet Memory

The due date for our little one that we lost in May came and went this weekend, with no labor pains and no big "It's a ________" balloons in the yard. It was just a regular weekend of laundry and errands and shopping. Although I'm now 13 weeks along in my pregnancy with this baby, I will never, ever forget our sweet beloved baby waiting for us in Heaven.

Here's my Flashback Friday!

Back when we were a one-child family, I was the friendly neighborhood Pampered Chef Lady. I love Pampered Chef products! I earned many for FREE or at half-price. I was miserable! It's not that I didn't LOVE doing the shows. I really got into the whole cooking show thing. I love meeting new people. I love sharing nifty ideas and cooking hints. I HATED depending on other people buying in order to pay our bills. And I really hated jumping into my car to leave as my hubby was walking in the door from work. "Bye babe! Dinner's on the counter. Have a good night!"



I'd come home and climb into bed and the question that always came from my half-asleep hubby was "How did it go?" --which translated into --"How much did you make?" To which I would usually reply "ummm....well...I got a booking...and I'm only at about $40 profit, but more orders might come in..." It just wasn't worth missing out on our nights together as a family. I am very grateful for the friends I made in the process, and for all the FREE baking stones and kitchen knives and cookbooks. But, I'm also so thankful that God later blessed me with my part-time job at our church. It really is my dream job and I can keep my family with me!

A Legacy

A year ago yesterday, an amazing and dearly loved man left this earth to be with his Saviour.

He was a loving husband...

and father.

"Pappy's" eyes lit up when any one of his grandchildren walked into the room.

His passion was hunting!

A woman couldn't ask for a kinder, more protecting and loving father-in-law.

We miss you so much, Pappy!

Good advice?

"Follow your heart!"
Sounds good. Romantic. Even noble, right? That's the advice given in all great fairy tales. Disney's really got it down. I know I've had a little fixation with the movie Fireproof this week, but there was this one line in the movie that really gripped me. It was so piognant! There is a part in the movie when Ken says to Caleb, "DON'T follow your heart. LEAD your heart!" It totally went against all great love story movie advice.

Think about it. The bank robber from the next town over followed his heart. So did the child molester and the serial killer. My heart in it's human, sinful state cares only about one person - ME! Without the saving, transforming grace of Jesus, my heart is dark and selfish. Imagine a world where people (especially Christians) stopped following their heart, and instead surrendered it completely to Christ. Maybe instead of chatting it up with our best friends at church, we might spend some time getting to know that person who's visited every week for a month and still sits alone, . Maybe we'd take our oldest child with us to the grocery store just this once and really focus in on them instead of claiming those few minutes of "me" time. Maybe we'd stop arguing with our spouse about our plans long enough to really hear his dreams.

Maybe we're all too busy listening to the advice of fairy tales and following our hearts to notice the person right next to us.

"For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander." Matt. 15:19

"I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun." Eccl. 2:10-11

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26

Here's my Friday Flashback

This picture is of Maia (now almost 8) climbing into Daddy's suitcase as I was unpacking and repacking it for yet another business trip. During this stage of our lives, Tom was working for IBM and travelling whole weeks or more at a time to install new machines all over the east coast. He would come home for a few days, and then head right out again. It was such a hard time for us as a family with him having to be gone so much. I took this picture for him with a caption "Take me with you, Daddy". We are so thankful for the job he now has that keeps him close to home.

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR MY IRL FRIENDS: If you are here because I sent you an e-mail saying to check out the cute picture on my blog, this isn't it. Scroll down to Wednesday's post!**

My Treasures

Whenever I need some inspiration, I just turn to one of my blog buddies. Today, in response to Tuesdays Treasures by Storing Up Treasures (once again), I have posted some pictures of my own little treasures. This also inspired me to take some pictures, something I often forget to do. So I marched around the house and found my oldest treasure working hard on her math book.

She was very happy to stop for a picture or two.

I found my youngest treasure feverishly studying her Hop on Pop book while reclining in her bed (it was naptime at the homeskoolmommy house).

I just couldn't resist climbing in for a nap myself. Naptime cuddles are real treasures!

Flashback Friday

In response to Storing Up Treasures post, here is my "flashback."

It was January 2007 when we realized that Hannah had more than just a lazy eye. Up until that time, we had heard from the nurse practitioner (whom I will never trust again) that she just had lazy eye muscles and would outgrow her problem. We were finally convinced it was not going to clear up on it's own and I asked her doctor about it. He sent her to an opthamologist who immediately sent her for an MRI. The MRI was quite traumatic enough, since 2 year old must be put under general anesthesia for such a test. It was discovered that Hannah had a large tumor growing quite rapidly behind her left eye.

We were sent to a top-notch hospital with a top-notch eye surgeon to have it removed. When I was told that they would have to cut the bone away from between her eye and temple and then screw it back into place, I felt like I would be sick! My poor sweet baby girl!

But God's grace and peace were abundant and she came through surgery just fine. Recovery was quick and the tumor was benign! Praise God for his protection and the strengthening of our faith through it all.

Precious Paul

What a precious little boy! Paul is doing better! He is breathing on his own and holding his body temperature. His jaundice is nearly gone. The only problem is that he is still too weak to stay awake long enough to nurse for more than a minute or two. Because of that, he is being fed through a tube inserted in his nose and down into his stomach. My sister has been released from the hospital, but she and her husband have been allowed to stay on a complimentary basis so long as their room isn't needed. Praise God for his wonderful blessings!

Praise God for His protection...again!

My "baby" sister, Laura just gave birth to her first child, a precious baby boy, yesterday (more than a month early). He weighed in at 3 lbs 3 oz. There had been problems with the placenta and he was growing very slowly. They had already planned to induce her this coming Monday, but we never made it that far. Laura began having excruciating pain under her ribs and her husband rushed her to the hospital in the wee hours of Friday morning. Her blood pressure was sooo dangerously high, so they put her to sleep and quickly delivered baby Paul by emergency C-section. Laura was in pretty bad shape, showing a several of the symptoms of HELLP sydrome. Praise God that today, she and baby Paul are doing much better! Paul did not need to be sent to a NICU, but is just steps away in the Intesive Care section of the regular nursery. Laura has had a rough recovery, but is doing well. I know she is so heartbroken that she has yet to see Paul. Please pray that she is able to see and hold her new baby soon and that God would give her peace. But PRAISE Him for His protection over them both! I have a new nephew!

Support Godly entertainment

Go see this movie! It opens this weekend!

Do you trust Me?

Octamom just posted a wonderfully written blog on reproductive decisions. She ended with the following questions, so I thought I’d dive in and try to answer.

“So what about you? So how about your family? Are you done? Are you just beginning? What questions, fears, dreams have shaped the number of people in your family? How do you know if there may be someone else lining up for membership in your family club? How do you know when the club is complete?”

Did you ever play that game as a child where you stand facing away from a friend, close your eyes and fall backwards…trusting them to catch you? I believe the name of the game was actually called “Trust”. I played it many times. I can remember wondering if they would really catch me, or just watch me fall. I was sure that my true friends would try to catch me…but what if they dropped me?! I always knew that there was really only one person I could totally trust to catch me – my Dad. It was such a cool game if you could really totally trust the person behind you to catch you!

After 11 years of wondering how I really feel about family planning, God has recently brought me to a place of totally trusting Him. I know that if I leave it completely in His hands, He will not let me down. Like that game of trust, I know that He will never leave me or drop me. He knows so much better than I do what is best for me and my family. I have always felt that by using “birth control”, I was trying to take my future out of God’s hands and “control” it myself.

In no way am I saying I believe it is wrong or a sin to prevent pregnancy. I believe that there are times when serious health issues require prevention of pregnancy, and God uses medical science and our doctors to direct us. What I am saying is that for me, it is a matter of trust and complete surrender to God. It is saying “God, You are sovereign. Your ways are higher than my ways. You see the beginning from the end. I trust Your plan.”

Some would say it is easy for me to think like that because I don’t get pregnant very easily. It has always taken years of trying. I don’t have to worry about having children a year apart or having 3 in diapers. But right now, God has me on the other side of the issue – yearning for another child and trusting that His timing is perfect. The same convictions still apply. He is the opener and closer of wombs. Although I desperately want more children and at times feel impatient (ok, lots of times), again, I still must leave it in His hands and surrender my hopes and dreams completely to Him.

I LOVE the way that Octamom put it. I hope she doesn’t mind my quoting her:
“So in the end, the answer is this: we are standing on holy ground. To be invited by an infinitely creative Creator to participate in such an amazing way to make people is holy. To see those people enter our lives is miraculous.” She goes on to say of her 8 children, “To look in each of the faces around our dinner table, to know that we thought we were probably done with the baby thing after 1, then after 2, then after 3...sometimes my heart is in my throat as I think, "What if I had called it quits? You wouldn't be here! I would have missed the amazing miracle of you..."...wow. That's heavy.”

So I’ve answered the question from my heart. All that being said, I cannot leave my answer as it is and not warn anyone who doesn’t already know the disturbing and horrifying facts about “The Pill” that I have just recently learned over the past few years. It breaks my heart to know that I took those pills for nearly 3 years altogether without ever knowing exactly how they work. Most doctors will not volunteer this information, but after hours upon hours of research, I have found enough evidence that I will never use “the Pill” again. Although I have found many sources, the video below is the simplest explanation I've found. Pastor and author Randy Alcorn has also done extensive research on the subject and has posted his findings here, as well as in his book titled Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortion? which includes endorsments from many doctors. Please watch!

Please pray...

...for my sister, Laura, who is pregnant with her first baby. Below is a copy of the post she sent out yesterday.

Hello dear friends,

I have a request. As you all know, I am 33 weeks pregnant with a little boy, Paul Matthew. I went in for an ultrasound today and found that our little one is only measuring about 2 and a half pounds. My placenta is not working properly and the doctors are concerned that he is not getting the proper nutrients. They want to monitor me twice a week and if things do not change I will have to deliver early. I know the Lord has it all under control and that little Paul is in His hands, but the more prayer there is, the better. It is so interesting for me to think about his name. When we first found out that we were having a boy, his name was already determined. Paul after the Apostle Paul and Matthew after my husband. I am really big into the meaning of names. Well, Matthew means "Gift of God," and Paul means "Small, or humble." I feel that God is just confirming his name that he truly is a small gift from Him. So if you could please keep this small gift in your prayers that would mean a whole lot. Thank you so much. Laura

A very special day with a very special lady

Here are some pictures from our day at the park. I called my grandmother and asked her to go with us. The girls were so happy to have Nana along for our picnic in the park. She brought her new camera and we had some fun with it.

The Bathroom Door is Closed

I found this yesterday when I was looking for the last poem I posted. I loved it and couldn't resist posting it. I can soooo relate!

Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions.

Wait until I get out.

Yes, it is locked.

I want it that way.

It is not broken, and I am not trapped.

I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and

I want some PRIVACY.

Do not ask me how long I will be.

I will come out when I am done.

Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.

Do not go running back to the phone yelling "She's in the BATHROOM!"

Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.

Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them.

This was funny when you were two.

Do not slide pennies, LEGOs, or notes under the door.

Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.

If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room.

I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.

And yes, I still love you.

Mom ...

Author Unknown

Priorities

"I hope that my children look back on today
And see a mom who had time to play.
There will be years ahead for cleaning and cooking,
For children grow up while we're not even looking. "
Author: Unknown

We're going to the park today!

Octamom is contagious!

So I decided to take Octamom's advice and play around on scrapblog.com. I had sooo much fun! I made a scrapblog of my sister's wedding last November. I've caught the bug!

A teachable moment

So I was just over at my friend MandyMom's page, and she was talking about the trap of materialism and the way it screams at us everywhere we look. Our culture is soooo saturated in it! So I felt compelled to share a discussion I just had with Maia this morning on the topic. It went something like this:

"Mom, I REALLY, REALLY want a horse. (HA!) If we all put our money together, you, me and Dad, couldn't we have enough money to buy a horse?" Then she went on to say, "If we go on Who Wants To Be A Millionare, Dad could win a million dollars and then we could buy a horse, right Mom? We could buy lots of stuff then!"

Aha! Prime "teaching moment". So I said that yes, we could buy a horse if we had a million dollars. There are many things we could buy for ourselves. And there is nothing wrong with buying a horse, or things for ourselves. But, whatever we have actually belongs to God. He is just blessing us with it, so that we can in turn bless others. If we use it selfishly, than why should God bless us with anything? We talked about ways that we could use a million dollars to bless others. We could adopt a child (or more...a lifelong desire of mine) who had no family to call their own; we could help fund other adoptions for childless couples; we could buy ultrasound machines for Crisis Pregnancy Centers that would save the lives of helpless unborn babies; we could build homes for the poor in Peru where Grandma and Pop went last summer; we could build an addition onto our church building and make needed repairs so that we could reach more people for Jesus; we could do so much that would bless others and honor God. I hope that I maybe made a slight difference in her thinking. But...maybe not. 3 minutes later she was telling me about a Pogo stick she REALLY wanted that she saw on a commercial. And about 10 minutes after that, she wanted a Gameboy. Hopefully, it will someday sink in :)